The other day it rained and while I was driving all I could thing about is how you never used your windshield wipers.
I remembered how I would sit in the passenger seat like a little kid watching the drops race each other to the bottom of the window.
They always knew exactly where they were going. They always had a purpose so it didn’t matter that they had an end.
I used to wish I was the windshield so I could feel the reflected red lights rolling down my cheeks knowing that they had a destination.
And it was with that simple little thought that my eyes became clouds filled with pointless precipitation. And I knew it was because of you.
See every time I think I can breathe freely memories escape like stoppers from my wrapped up heart just to make it bleed some more and remind me the dangers of driving through a downpour.
And every time I try to make sure that my tears have purpose otherwise they will never come to an end.
So I try to bleed you something beautiful with each and every blood cell pumping from my heart.
I try to tell you I love you. That I have from the start.
And I know that’s not what you want to hear, but I can’t get you out of my head and I’m beginning to fear I never will.
It doesn’t matter how many hands I hold or faces I touch something keeps telling me I’ll never love them as much.
I can try to pretend. I can try to move on, but I have never heard nature play such a sweet love song.
I want to know what else there is for me to trust when the pitter-patter of the rain is playing just for us.
It keeps telling me that it was all right to fall. That after all is said and done my tears will have won the race down my windshield face.
Then I’ll smile without hesitation like a child who gives you no other indication of what they have just learned.
But right now all I can feel is the pain as I trace a million blood red drops off the horizon wishing I could find your eyes on me because I don’t want to know that’s something you’ve forgotten.
I refuse to believe that your heart has rotten.
So the other day when I turned off my windshield wipers in the midst of a storm I told people I just wanted to feel the rush, when really I only wanted to remember us.