My Sister Gay - December 6, 1959

She was the older
Always the best
I was the second
And always less

She didn’t want me
But I dragged along,
Trying to protect her
as my special one.

I made due with second
As she won every game
But I tagged along
Hoping to do the same.

At 16 she shouted and cried each day
And I left the house to avoid the display
I shuffled the leaves in the cold windy fall
And wished she would go away, any way at all.

At 17 she grew wilder and I watched her dissolve
Wondering what puzzle she brought, wanting it solved
Then on a cold December day she did go,
Leaving me shivering in the holiday snow.

Sixty years passed, I’ve been brave and daring
And now after all, I find my lost caring,
Forgiving myself for wanting her gone
Yet thanking her for years of silent urging me on.