Turbulent waves crashing over my head,
driving me down into the sand,
only a few yards from shore.

Alone, in the cold waters of the Pacific.
Another wave tumbles over me pulling me under, dragging me along the bottom.

Tumbling, I occasionally smash my head looking for which way is up.
Finally, I felt something to push off from
and sped headlong into the rocks.

Blackness enveloped me, then silence.
Nothing.
No more pain. Void. Senses have gone away.
Voiceless screaming, motionless thrashing.

It was then, as if my body exploded.
Electricity surges, ignites every hot nerve.
Uncontrolled convulsions and I retch ocean water,
blinding brightness and I can’t see anything.

Sharply, I gasp for air and flail about,
trying to find my way.
I feel a warmth touch me
“You’re okay. You’re alright.”

The brightness fading, frightening me. Shapes appeared. My entire body ached, and I felt a warmth, flow from between my fingertips.

I recognize faces around me, I smell salt in the air. My heart is pounding in my ear. I taste the sunshine on my lips. I couldn’t feel my fingers only warmth of them being held.

Euphoria and hot pain wash over me. I begin to feel my feet.
The adrenaline in my body subsides.
Foreboding, replaced by content.

I looked into her eyes as she held my hand.
“You asked, what it felt like, to love you.”
A pregnant pause with an
uncomfortable look.

“It feels like that.”