My biggest regret

It wasn't paying for ***
The shame and disappointment

It wasn't hurting myself as a teenager
Causing pain, leaving unsightly scars

It wasn't staying drunk and or high
For a decade or more

It wasn't alienating myself
From everyone

It was that time at the shopping centre
When I said I'd be there to catch you
And I watched my sister close her eyes
And fall backwards
While I laughed as she hit the floor

I'm trying to fix that
That important leak in my person
I'd concrete the world's surface if I had to