It will never be the same
I will never be the same
I can’t forget but
I wouldn’t be disappointed if you did
I still remember how it felt
The way you pushed me to bed
And forced yourself into me
I screamed but you quickly covered my mouth
Pushing yourself harder and rougher
Into me
No amount of alcohol
Can make me forget how it felt
Nor can it numb the pain
I said no but that somehow encouraged you
Even more
I ******* hated how it felt
I ******* hated myself
But you weren’t the last no not yet

The other one I thought he was my friend
I got drunk and I thought I was safe
Till he sat on my legs paralyzing me
And trying to touch me
I didn’t know what to do
I was so drunk to even take it serious
Who would have thought a friend
Would harm another so easily
I blacked out and when I opened my eyes
I found his face between my legs
The way he was touching me
I still blame myself for not screaming
Nor running
And I still blame myself for thinking he was
My friend

Alcohol became my best friend
As well as men touching me without my consent
No matter what I wore
No matter where I was
It’s like everyone knew I have daddy issues
It was like an invitation for them
It’s like I was so desperately craving
For any man’s touch
My father treated me worse, why would I
Expect them to be any different?