The idea of suicide…..almost like a drug.
Not quite.
It changes the sky.
For the better or worse.
When it becomes a plan then it’s all too much.

But when it’s just a dream, a perfect one.
And one day it may come true.
Like a drug it brings liberty, peace and perspective, it shows the world in a different light.

When you try it and you come out you’re alright sometimes.
A little sick but fine.
Sometimes you can’t focus on anything, just for a while.
But if you stay in that trip or in those dark plans you can’t live…

It’s there any time.
Like a strong beer, whiskey, cocktail, wine because life is not right.
A dream, an option, an escape.
It’s a part of life even, all there to use.

An escape for a while.
But it can’t become all consuming.
Then it’s no longer a dream.
It’s a horrible reality that just kills.
In the worst way.

So I let it be an escape for a moment and not a recipe for disaster.
I have made that mistake.
It was only my luck that I came out right.
But being in a nightmare like that is an inescapable horror.