I'm a wreck
I'm a mess

I am oil spilled on the clearest waters
dark and unwanted
poisonous to those around me

I am sloppy in my emotions and rational in my actions because that is what is expected

I am well versed in suffering in silence
because my screams are to violent for you to bear
so I squirm instead

and though I feel like I should not have to choose between my overall health and being the person I'm  supposed to be

I make that choice every morning

Because I would rather die than be anymore of a burden than I already am.