Well, we have an answer.
SUIDs
Sudden Unexpected Infant Death Syndrome.
A mercy- not something we caused.
Not something we missed.
And a curse- not something we can prevent
Not something we can brace ourselves for.

We can see the light filtering through--
Our happy dog.
Peaceful porch time.
The quiet munching of our snails,
such a precious and humble microcosm.

And we are so grateful not to be alone.
The prayers are tangible.
God is still here.

But our crippling loss left us with phantom pains and questions-
When will we be okay?
How will we be okay?
Will we ever be okay?
At least we don't know together.