Finally snapped that thread, I think,
that strand of connection that
held my affection
for the person I thought I felt I saw
inside
the man I never saw
in real life.
I was your distraction
while you were the extraction
of what I wanted from 'us',
just friendship with that frisson of more,
that spark, that 'maybe just once'
that made me feel less of what I am
and more of who I'd like to be.
But by taking what I needed I'm left
with something real
some thing I really feel,
a warmth, a tug towards you
an elasticity of acceptance that
slithers uncomfortably around your
brittle arm holding life safely back.
Unconditionality an attack.
One more try, in the spirit of this really real regard.
'Hey man, how are you? let's talk'.
Don't can't won't answer. Banter, yes. Connection? Too hard.