Everyday not a single emotion plays on this face.
No not even one.
The stern stare is not out of rage but protection.

Not for me.
For you.
The most dangerous demons are the ones we never see.
I am but the crazy football player.
And yet I am an onion.

Many see and experience me.
Few get close to my core
Even fewer get to the core.
On the outside I am rough and brutish
On the inside I am protective, honest, and caring.
At my core.
I am not human.

I feel no empathy.
Not even sympathy.
I am crazy.
No I am insane.
I am a monster.
Ripping, cutting, tearing, slashing are my dreams.

Everyone is my subject.
No one is safe.
So I keep that side of me locked away.
In a cage made of my hopes for myself.
My last and only line against it.
It's never ending rage.
My never ending rage.
So locked it will stay.

And only sorrow fills my bones.
A depression in my very essence.
A longing to be normal.
A desperate cry never heard lives in me.

I always feel this sorrow.
The rage ever steady in it.
The desperate need to cry.
The desperate need to mutilate.
My desperate need for help.

I have learned though.
Learned that others need help.
So I am there for them.
I help them.
Encourage them.
And even fall in love with a few.
But I cannot love.
I won't let myself.
So I smile at them.
Friends.
Loved ones.
Everyone.
It is all I can do.
No one should worry about me.
No one needs to worry about me.
I'm fine.
Perfectly fine.
A smile a day keeps the insanity at bay.
See my smile?