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Sep 2023
Four heartbeats in one room
But I can only feel three
I strive to nourish and provide,
But who will take care of me?

Home is a four letter word,
A heartbeat and a set of eyes
But the person I have chosen
Often covers his face in disguise.

A safe haven, a place to let down my guard
But I leave my armor on
Because he reminds me constantly
That he would rather be gone.

Five feet in distance, but lightyears apart
I feel like I'm reaching for you
But you don't see me
Or you don't care to

Always wondering: what's wrong now?
Why is he mad?
Can't we just talk thing through?
Maybe then I wouldn't be so sad...

I've tried everything I can think of
To make all of this work
And I feel like you have it made
While I just get hurt.

Beaten down by your words and anger
Day by day
And I feel myself fading
My light and sparkle draining away

Because I pour and pour
All day long
But my cup is empty
And you still say I'm wrong.

There's so much damage
That's already been done
I want this to work
But I also want to run

Away from the darkness
And back to the light...
All you say is you don't care
And won't put up a fight

To save the family
That you prayed for
But this isn't good for them
And there's so much more...

More that we could be
If we BOTH wanted
We just have to be on the same page
And not take each other for granted...

I always feel like I'm last
And that you have someone else
Because you've done it countless times
With no regard to how I felt.

It's been you for me
Since the moment we met
But I can't really be all in
Because you haven't made me feel safe yet.

I'm constantly on guard, on edge
Waiting for the other shoe to fall
To leave me lonely, not just alone
With nothing and no one at all...
Chelsea Molin
Written by
Chelsea Molin  28/F/Michigan
(28/F/Michigan)   
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