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Oct 2013
Good girl,
good girl he says as long as I obey.

Yesterday, I was strong.
I didn't let him order me around...

But his sweetness poisoned my mind.
I couldn't think straight.
I wanted his love.
I wanted him.

Bit by bit he whittled me down.
Bit by bit I let my standards slip.

I began to send him pictures...
pictures with his name on me.
I began to see myself, my body, as his possession.

One minute he would say sweet things.
He would tell me I was beautiful, no gorgeous.
I was his girl.

The next minute, he was angry, because I wouldn't do as he said.
I felt pain.
I didn't want to make him mad.
But I didn't want to do as he said.

When I resisted, he went away.
I couldn't have that.
I was poisoned by his loved.

So, each time, I went a little further...
Part of me still fought...but not for long.

I kept freaking out on him.
I kept pushing him away.
But I was so drunk on him,
that I always came crawling back.

I begged him to forgive me,
and then...I offered myself up to him.
He could do whatever he wanted to my body.
He could let anyone **** it.

He said I was wonderful.
He said I was beautiful.

But now I know he just wanted control.
He wanted a slave.

Now when I look in the mirror,
I don't see beauty,
I see a toy for a man's pleasure.

I've pushed him away for the last time.

I can't live with him,
but my heart is having a hard time living without him.
My mind is still drunk over him.

Hopefully, I will forget these scars someday...
Someday, I might even respect myself again...
Written by
Elise  United States
(United States)   
561
 
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