Forever, you said.
One word injected into my skin
making its way through my veins
tatted into my brain
and carved onto my heart.

And I believed you.

Every fiber in my body succumbed to the idea of your forever.
Even when you passed by and wouldn't even spare me as so much of a glance,

I grasped on your forever.

Even when I sleep, expecting to see myself wrapped up securely in your arms the next morning but instead waking up to the bed made neatly by your side
and I realize that you weren't even really with me the night before
or all the nights before that.
You were merely a body when I was soul, heart, and mind when I was with you.

I held on to that string of 7 letters
F-O-R-E-V-E-R
Strongly gripping the thin thread but gentle enough
because I was afraid that the thread will snap
and our forever will go back to being a jumble of letters
merely holding their place in the alphabet line.

I realized how you treat forever like it was spit from your mouth.
A never-ending supply that you can use as long as breath passes through your cells.
Forever, for you, was like rain droplets,
starting high up in the air, competing with other drops to get through
only to fall and
come shattering on the ground.

The cloth
we collected the stars with
you now use to wipe someone else's tears.
The paper
where we dripped our blood in
you now use to write a new story on.
The fingers
that used to set my skin ablaze upon every touch
you now use to trace someone else's shape.
The lips
that you used to set me on fire with
you now use to cloth someone else with
new hopes,
new dreams,
new promises.

I just wanted for you to hold me long enough so your touch may freeze upon my skin.
The memory of your hands on my body to last me forever.

But forever
was too much to ask.

-t.a.