There it left me
shredded
bleeding
sinning
not thin like you wanted me to be anymore
not quiet like you commanded me to be
not submissive anymore
coming more into me more
and if i am the sinner in your eyes
than so be it
but no matter
how much you try you can't ever erase me
from your world
for
I am your first born daughter
the truth teller
the scapegoat
I was the golden child
at one point
too.

But I saw the truth lying there
and I left
Tredged my feet to move 6000 miles away
from the hell on earth
sometimes like days like  today,
I cry so much about it
for had I stayed in america
my life would've been so different
I am lucky
I am able to look back on my blessings
Admist deep darkness
and I am learning how to find the me
beyond the addictions the pain
the numbness
and to give grace
that I am clean
and that I am working towards
the best things for me
the past serves as a reminder
but it doesn't need to define us anymore.

And with that she slips on her heels
dances with glee
and dissapears into the moonlight.