A simple string that stretches for miles
Intertwined threads that if deciphered could break the masses
Pieces and pieces of me until I’ve unraveled into nothingness
Into meaningless
Quivers in my body as every cell inside me jumps
Begging to be released
Begging to be pulled through this simple string
In agony as they come together
Only to scatter and combust
Causing movement only justifiable to someone on the verge of break
The edge of collapse
How bad could the process be ?
I’m falling into myself on a daily basis
crumbling by each word I hear
Grasping on my skin prying my flesh as if the emotions could exit my pores
Heavy heaves as I grip the soft ends of my consciousness
Lusting after the feeling of when I was okay
swaying restlessly as if I completely lost myself in that moment
Feeling every emotion every thought as every word new word clashes between
My breath from long sighs to short pants as the stimulation cripples me
Curling into the ball that tricks me into believing I’ll be okay
While my internal filter malfunctions at each and every request
Lifting me up and slamming me down
As I attempt countless behaviors to make it bearable
Losing focus
On words on thoughts on the point
Staring at tv screens phone screens
Lost on the glow of LEDS
In a trance unrecognizable to the self
Losing track of time
Having no management no organization no boundaries
A leaf in Mother Natures enchanting wind
With no destination
As life Carries me
Struggling to connect
When I feel every motion so intensely
As if my own self is against me