i remember my own misery
like i remember my first kiss:
it was innocent, i was nervous
and it lingered for years

even now, navigating this ocean
of happiness, i remember hunger
and i am drowning in grief

i wish i had no memories;
even that kiss turned violent,
its softness still haunts me

God, i see smiles and hear their laughter;
why does mine not sound like theirs?
i fear my pain has tainted everything