There has been a knocking at my outer door recently.
At first I faintly heard a soft knock followed by a whisper...
open up
I did my very best to deny it's direction.
that must be intended for someone else
And then the knocking became much louder and more insistent...
I was not able to further ignore the sound.
But still I refused to open the door.

I remember thinking that I was strong enough to resist this.
I am the captain of my own wayward ship.

But then instead of softly tapping or even undeniably rapping on my exterior door,
you burst right in
and all I could do was get out of the way.

Now all of a sudden I was no longer my own captain.
I had been reduced to the fish trailing behind the boat.
Caught.
Hook, Line & Sinker

I had two choices...
I could keep fighting
or I could accept my fate.

I truly could fight no longer.
I held on instead as you slowly reeled me in.

I've decided to let you change me.

I relinquished my stronghold on my heart over to you.
In a way that looked like defeat but felt so much more like relief.

It is time... I am just so drawn to you.
I can't help wanting to be close to you.
I needed to feel you close to me.

So I gave in

I am going to let you flood my heart with joy.
I am going to let this tear me open.
I can only keep my windows closed and blinds drawn for so long.

I've stopped trying to swim defiantly against the current.
I've let go and yet, I'm holding onto myself for dear life.
I can't help but feel exhilarated.

The sheer risk has blown me away.