Did I give you what you needed?
Did I make you realize
Just how to appreciate his
Casual
Love?
Did I do my
Job
And rekindle something
You had begun momentarily to doubt?
I am here for you.
I wear the face you paint on me
Over my own.
I show you how you can be adored
Until you've had enough, and are finished-
(much the way you eat dessert until you have had your fill
And then push away the plate- finished)
Don't worry,
Darling,
Once you've touched my cheek,
Once I've kissed your palms,
And given you your entertainment,
And you've paid me in smiles
I stop
Like a toy with the batteries removed.
Don't you worry.
Don't you know that
When you're not looking at me
I go dark
Like a lamp switched off
Because why should it draw
Power
When its services are no longer required?
Take me out of the closet
Like a little secret pleasure,
There
Only when you remember to want it,
Gone conveniently and completely when you are done.
Hold me up to every part of your soul
That needs validation and attention;
I am
Disposable.
Rechargeable,
But unnecessary.
Call me up
Like a call girl
In the filthy little hours of the night
Black grime smiting the stars from the sky.
Make me something vile,
A beauty wanted for its veneer,
A nice diamond necklace
Coveted but left to gather dust between velvet once owned,
(too gauche for proper company)
Take a drag from my lips
Like a cigarette
That you may at any moment
Extinguish
And toss,
Still sizzling,
Into the river
Or crush delicately beneath your foot.
And when I've given you
My uninhibited self
And freed a tiny part of you that
You sometimes indulge just to keep it quiet otherwise,
Cut me a check for my services
With your razorblade lips,
And go back to the arms
Of your ordinary
(correct upstanding respectable daylight)
Life.
Go back to the sunlight rituals
The ones you can chat with your friends about
With no shame, never ostracized.
The life that lets you connect to the
Right
Sort:
The normal people,
Who never leave any feeling untidy or exposed.
Did I satisfy a craving
Like a candy bar
Or a quick ****
That leave no evidence but wrappers
And relief?
Was I my
Best?
Was my best
Even mine?
Or was it expected,
Expected like you know your faucet
Will slake your thirst with water,
Like you expect your car
To start each morning?
Was it that given,
Was it that prosaic?
It's what I'm for!-
Passion.

Use me like a lipstick
That can always be washed off
Down the drain
So that it won't paint his lips
Unmanly
When you consume them.

Use me for what I'm for.
Oh, never fear consequences-
Don't you know that
I
Cease to exist
Once you are done with me?

You looked into me like a mirror
And saw only yourself.