It's like when all that the world you knew
was pitch darkness
and you start to emerge
from the rubble
you realize
wow how much hell
I lived in,
and I thought it was normal!!

I thought it was okay
that I was treated so badly
that I chased people
for the breadcrumbs
of love,
they would shake at me
and me with my greedy hands
would lick it up
thinking it was love
when it was really toxicity
masked as love
like sharded swords
masked as love
is still killing.

Today I woke up and
decided
ENOUGH!


All I know is that
we can always come back to ourselves
always
it is never
never too late
even when the darkness
has come behind the eyes
and you feel as if you can't go on
see because I felt like that for most of my life
and I pushed so deeply
because I knew my purpose
was greater than my suffering
and still sometimes it feels like this
but I hold myself
and tell myself
I am worthy of softness
of a life that is filled with healing
of good memories
of good moments
like beautiful coffee moments
like dancing to the electronic music
like writing my first books
like singing
hearing and seeing myself
dressed to the nines
like kissing my loved ones
being someone's muse
for their poetry and love songs
knowing that I am worthy of these moments
maybe for some
it can take more time
for us to experience
but I know that
if i was created from star dust
than star dust can happen.