On nights like this I wish I could stop my thinking. Drown it away.

Smoke it away.

Drink it away.

I don’t have ****, because I’m abroad, and it’s not illegal and all.

I won’t drink it away though, because I’m trying to be healthy, and I never had a **** hangover.



Because thinking at a time like this… is awful.

The worst case scenario, if I avoid thinking, I spare myself the torture. But what if, in fact, the worst case scenario is true? Then what?

And what does it even mean?

Thinking about that is way worse.

And I don’t want to.

All I can do is hope, and pray maybe.



So I just wanna drink it away.

Or smoke it away.

Can’t really do those though, so I took a cool shower, listened to music. Washed my face. Came and sat here across my window to write.

As Woody Allen said in Annie Hall, life is either miserable or horrible, be thankful that you’re miserable, that’s very lucky, to be miserable.