Aug 2023
Roses in a pitcher in a window at a suburban Starbucks. They’re still wrapped in the plastic from Publix. A koolaid pitcher. A kind gesture from a stranger to another.
Eating my roommates left over pastina (the kind he makes that I like with carrots and kale) room temp out of the *** while I load the dish washer
While I’m loading the dishwasher it begins to rain (ga is turning into Florida) but I like how the rain looks out the window in front of the plant cuttings I have rooting on the windowsill
The plant cuttings in the cute jars I don’t need to collect but still find joy in collecting
New leaves and how good it makes me feel to talk to them
A *** of tea I bought for two, and even though I’m just one now I can almost always still finish the ***
Peppermint
The tin of loose leaf jasmine, its golden color, and the instruction manual that comes with it. How to make jasmine tea.
Spending as long as I want in the grocery store or famers market
Produce makes me really happy
So does the bakery
So does planning a meal for friends
And so does buying flowers
Crying listening to npr in my car (this American life or wait wait don’t tell me)
Crying feels good sometimes and these programs make me feel closer to my mom even though we’ve almost always lived far apart
Making bread. I can only make focaccia right now and I’m generally bad at baking. This is teaching me a patience that I think I can have else where
Sunbathing
Time in the water til you get pruny and your skin feels slick. This is a specific summer joy in a lake or a river
Maybe the ocean
Public pools and the way little kids really have no spatial awareness
When it’s hot in the summer a lot of parents/babysitters, grandmas, etc bring the little ones into the sun for a few hours. Wading through the 3ft section dodging little kids with goggles that come up gasping for hair all snot faced
The idea that maybe I want kids one day
It’s a nice
Daydream
Talking about daydreams
Making big plans that you aren’t sure will happen, but there’s still joy in the giggling delusion you share with friends or lovers or strangers
The train, the light in the train, the knowing you’re on a train
I mean even Marta
Mushrooms. I think chanterelles changed my life. Brought me back to the day time. Brought me back to connection not involved a dime bag or 20 shots back to back. A day time connection. A natural one cultivated at the roots of oaks.
Oak trees are old.
Black berries grow everywhere in Georgia. I find them hiding along the fences under overpasses. Hushing traffic with their glistening dark pearls and red thorns. I’m not sure I’d eat those but they still bring me joy.
Honey suckle. I thought they smelled like jasmine so I told everyone I had jasmine in my yard. I was wrong. I love the smell and how far it travels. I love the tea I make from it sometimes.
Ash’s giggle and brightening personality
Danielle’s fierce loyalty and dedication
Mias softness, wisdom, and determination
Emma’s playfulness, her creativity, and wanderlust
Theo laying behind me on the couch
Using her as a pillow
Dog birthdays
The guy riding his moped with a plastic rain bubble around it on boulevard
Trying to place a prank call but giggling too much to finish saying anything. The adrenaline hits me despite my failure.
Eating my roommates left over pastina (the kind he makes that I like with carrots and kale) room temp out of the *** while I load the dish washer
While I’m loading the dishwasher it begins to rain (ga is turning into Florida) but I like how the rain looks out the window in front of the plant cuttings I have rooting on the windowsill
The plant cuttings in the cute jars I don’t need to collect but still find joy in collecting
New leaves and how good it makes me feel to talk to them
A *** of tea I bought for two, and even though I’m just one now I can almost always still finish the ***
Peppermint
The tin of loose leaf jasmine, its golden color, and the instruction manual that comes with it. How to make jasmine tea.
Spending as long as I want in the grocery store or famers market
Produce makes me really happy
So does the bakery
So does planning a meal for friends
And so does buying flowers
Crying listening to npr in my car (this American life or wait wait don’t tell me)
Crying feels good sometimes and these programs make me feel closer to my mom even though we’ve almost always lived far apart
Making bread. I can only make focaccia right now and I’m generally bad at baking. This is teaching me a patience that I think I can have else where
Sunbathing
Time in the water til you get pruny and your skin feels slick. This is a specific summer joy in a lake or a river
Maybe the ocean
Public pools and the way little kids really have no spatial awareness
When it’s hot in the summer a lot of parents/babysitters, grandmas, etc bring the little ones into the sun for a few hours. Wading through the 3ft section dodging little kids with goggles that come up gasping for hair all snot faced
The idea that maybe I want kids one day
It’s a nice
Daydream
Talking about daydreams
Making big plans that you aren’t sure will happen, but there’s still joy in the giggling delusion you share with friends or lovers or strangers
The train, the light in the train, the knowing you’re on a train
I mean even Marta
Mushrooms. I think chanterelles changed my life. Brought me back to the day time. Brought me back to connection not involved a dime bag or 20 shots back to back. A day time connection. A natural one cultivated at the roots of oaks.
Oak trees are old.
Black berries grow everywhere in Georgia. I find them hiding along the fences under overpasses. Hushing traffic with their glistening dark pearls and red thorns. I’m not sure I’d eat those but they still bring me joy.
Honey suckle. I thought they smelled like jasmine so I told everyone I had jasmine in my yard. I was wrong. I love the smell and how far it travels. I love the tea I make from it sometimes.
Ash’s giggle and brightening personality
Danielle’s fierce loyalty and dedication
Mias softness, wisdom, and determination
Emma’s playfulness, her creativity, and wanderlust
Theo laying behind me on the couch
Using her as a pillow
Dog birthdays
The guy riding his moped with a plastic rain bubble around it on boulevard
Trying to place a prank call but giggling too much to finish saying anything. The adrenaline hits me despite my failure.
