In a training Tuesday the speaker said,"it's time to burry the old you."

I disagree.
Don't get me wrong, there are days when I look at the old me with disgust. When I'm perplexed at the lows I've hit; but I'm not able to grow with my old selfs carcass 6 feet under. I need that **** placard on the wall of every room I go into. I need  that daily  reminder of how far I've come and what drove me. I need that for the days when I'm struggling to be a good teacher, a good aunt, daughter, girlfriend, friend, human. Naturally, there are still days I smash that plaque and want to use the shards like old habits; now I have the skills to turn that weapon into armor. I use that as a reminder of who I'll never be again: supine, mute, contentious, belligerent, a victim.  I have learned to admire every part of myself including the old me. I learned to sit with the uncomfortable parts. Like my good friend always says, growth isn't linear. So yes, when you snicker at me with contempt, I still want to show my ruthless side, but I don't.  When I see you engaging with my abusers, I become furious  and distraught.  I simultaneously want to cuss you out and cry as I remind you what's been done to me, but I don't.
instead I drive home to my wonderful man and my obstinate cat, and I let my old self remind me what I have is enough. I am blessed to have this life I've created and the people who were in my corner the entire time 🖤