I was not prepared
Seeing you for the first time in years felt like the air was punched right out of me
I’m not sure if I pretended well enough
I’m not sure I care

If this was years ago, I would’ve talked to you
I would’ve texted you after
Not caring where you were at in life
Where I’m at…

I’ve always been selfish with my feelings
I’m trying not to be
I kept my space
Until I heard my name being called to come join everyone

I couldn’t stop looking up at the stars
Or lack there of

I couldn’t stop telling myself that this is what I deserve
This feeling of regret

And instead of making it known
Trying to fix it
Or get what I could back

I just keep reminding myself that I need to leave us there
in the past
and continue moving forward

I will not disrupt lives for my own selfish feelings

I only wonder how long you’ll be visiting me in my dreams
Like my own form of torture.