The day of yom kippur this past year
has been so very traumatic
that I never even wanted to touch on it
not in therapies not in my writing
but it keeps on ebbing and flowing throughout my mind
every day or two or so
and that when I met you again three weeks ago
you brought it up
how that was the last time you saw me
in my bikini
after one of the many ****** assaults
that happened that day publicly
had occured
you told me
you had watched me  go to  the pool
and watched me while I meditated
you remarked
how I have been wanting to tell you
how much I admire you
that even after something so horrible had occured
you went to the pool to meditate and sit with yourself  
how I learned  english
to be able to talk to you
how much I wanted to talk to you
for you are bisexual like me
and you understand...
I do understand your  soul and heart
so similar to mine
that you saw me at my darkest hour
and still saw my beauty
I wished I could tell you how much
that meant to me
how when I see you
even in my darkest moments
you light me up
I feel so happy
I feel like you actually understand me
I feel safe with you
for I haven't felt this way with any man
in the longest time
how all I want to do
is to take care of you
to laugh with you
to make sure your okay
how when we talked
it seems how we have many similar life experiences
how it seems from the moment I met you two years ago
you lit up a place in my heart
that hasn't touched me in a very long time
for my heart and soul has been mired from the extreme abuse
I have been through
how you saw my abuse and made sure
I was okay .
How you are so very sorry.
I just wanted to say you were the light
in my deep darkness
on such a horrible day like that was.