we thought we could put a face to a name
a name to a feeling, someone to blame
a feeling to a knowing, an answer to the call
a nifty, attractive package for our souls, zero flaws
a list of our ingredients, nutrition facts and fictions
that nobody ever really reads or even really mentions
and yet we still hungered for something more
to be like children in the summer, like we were before
we kept searching for the answer to the popsicle stick riddle
we gobbled love up before we even got to the middle
so that the melted sugary slush dripped down our chins,
stuck to our hands like tar, like the blood of all sins
you loved me more than the rest but i'd failed all your tests
you knew that i'd already given you my best
love's sweetness was gone and i turned to run
your words tore through me, point blank, the damage was done
exhausted and unraveling, i cried tantrum tears till morning
knees scraped, wounds agape, i bled red dye #40
heart on fire, i came home still stamping out sparks
i was scolded and hugged for staying out after dark
and you climbed into your bed just like any other day
ignoring the spaces beside and inside you, you drifted away
and just like i always leave them before i am left
just like you always give freely and then accuse them of theft
we brought down the stars as we opened our hearts
but nothing could stop us from falling apart
in the halcyon summer when we glistened with dew
i confessed and undressed myself in front of you
and still you believed there was more i could prove
i became a stain on your mind that could not be removed
so i am the victim and the bully. okay? fuck it, you got me
and i've spent way too much time being someone who's not me
but i've felt your heart loving, and i've felt your heart breaking
and the love that i have is all yours for the taking
because it has to be true, i have to believe
(and i know that you all must think me naive)
but love is always the answer when the question is "why?"
-to understand this simple truth i had to bleed myself dry-
when there was nothing left to believe in, nothing left to stand for
when all of my heroes were gone or on their way out the door
and i still woke up reaching for someone who was gone
when my shrink said i was better but i hadn't moved on
no, i was not fighting those demons for fun
from the depths of hell, I sought heaven in the barrel of a gun
but i put it down
for you
because i knew
we are one.
we are thinking the same thoughts and feeling the same beating heart
and inside of our human suits i bet you couldn't tell us apart
somehow you and i cannot cease to exist
nothing else in my head really makes that much sense.