it occurs to me now
that i cannot see a future
with someone i love
i can open my mind and soul to

if i tell you my deepest fears
let you in
let you know me

then there is no future here

the thought unsettles me
both the notion of not letting someone in
and the thought of letting too much
of myself slip out

it is simple, really:
i hide enough of myself to stay forever comfortable with you
(and forever a little in discomfort in my own skin)
or.
i bare myself to you
and you do the same to me
it is freeing

until it is not

until i wonder if when this air settles
and the fog clears
"will you still love me?"

and so;
nothing is freeing forever
what once starts as freedom in my own skin
has the same ending
but all the while different;
here there is;
not enough comfort to stay
but just enough discomfort to leave.