A woman named Grace once said she was afraid to love and the same thing terrified me.
That I didn’t love myself I knew, but the thought if something grew around mine and someone else’s chests made me run and don’t look back.
I was afraid to love.
Scared to unveil my heart.
I was afraid of love.
I was…

I pushed 18 when they started asking, and I kept saying I was looking, but I wasn’t
and that was a white lie for them, but something larger for me.
It’s that I didn’t trust me.
I didn’t wanna change, but felt like I had to, cause when I saw myself I knew I wasn’t meant to hear “I love you”.
It’s one of those things easier said than heard.
I was afraid to try, mind at bedlam, hugging ferns.
Looking for comfort in the trees.
Discovering beautiful things.
I love the overgrown pond outback to name one, but that’s not the notion of it
It made me realize one thing:
Everything’s beautiful in its own peculiar way, and so am I.
I was terrified.
But now I’m like
I’ll give love a try.

A woman named Grace once said she ran from things she feared would **** her.
I was scared of riding horses like her,
let alone deliver my heart to a man.
I was scared but I’m fearless now.
I’m high on oxytocin now.
I was scared to open up like her,
to spread myself open like a book for him.
I was scared but I’m fearless now.
I’m drunk on his memories now.

And maybe it’s a bad thing.
Maybe I’m stupid again.
Or maybe this was destined,
destined to happen to me.
And maybe I was meant to open up.
Maybe I was meant to conquer my fear.
Or maybe I was on the right path,
one where love doesn’t scare me.

I was afraid but I’m not.
I was afraid but now I’m not.
I was afraid of love.
I was…