When I was a child my mother gave me the best piece of advice I ever received
To love everything, even if I didn’t think it deserved to be loved
Because everything deserves to be loved
When I was a child was the only time I truly followed this advice
I thought of the most evil person in the world to a child living in the 90s
Saddam Hussein
And I sat there repeating to myself, I love you Saddam Hussein
I didn't just say it though
I really tried to feel it
I imagined Saddam as a child, with a mother, like myself
I imagined how she must have felt
Watching him sleep, watching him play, watching him laugh
I took that feeling and tried to stretch it out like an elastic blanket
And wrap the whole world in its warmth
To love everything
It seemed to work and I was happy
Now I’m 29 and I hate everything
I hate my job, I hate the media, I hate politicians,
I hate the bullshitters, I hate people too stupid to bullshit
Which is all just to say, I hate myself
But sitting here, alone, with a broken leg
I’m getting nostalgic
I imagine myself as a child, with a mother
I imagine how she must have felt
Watching me sleep, watching me play, watching me laugh
I wrap myself in that feeling
And it seems to work