i don’t recall becoming my own mother
not quite sure when i began to bandage my bleeds
and make sure i break down where nobody sees.

i just want to be held in the arms of my mother
almost need her arms around my slouched shoulders
holding me up between shoulder blades.

i remember always getting hit by my own mother
loving faces became toxic embraces and she touched down harder every time i fought her.

i wish i knew why i always have to help my mother
guide her through the gutter and back to another
god i miss having a mother