Apr 2023
I just remembered
how the best friend that i thought i had growing up
who was also my first love
how horrible she and my other friends were too m e
throughout my whole life
I still don't understand how people can be so so horrid,
how when I was bullied throughout my life, they never cared
how when I confronted her about at age 21 she couldn't believe me,
how they gaslit me and my pain
how they defended my enemies
the ones who scorched me alive with their words
the one who sided with my own mother and parents,
when I told her how much they abused me
& how my dad ***** me so much,
that they made me at that time, want to slit my throat
and still she proceeded on.
Now i see you and your true colors
your all liars & horrible people
and I am so blessed that I cut you all out of my life.
The ones who took advantage of
my love my kindness my pure heart
the one who only wanted her whole life
to be loved in the way that I tried to love others.
All my ex friends ex family& ex flings
everyone used me and bullied me.
Does anyone fathom the pain?!!
I just don't relate to most people
who say oh I went through a few hard things,
my whole life for along while ,
it was hell on earth
i don't know how I'm alive
I don't
but I promise to myself
that number one I will create goodness in the world
and i will not shut up about my past
so that other people know that this level of abuse is truly out there,
so that they also know that is is possible to heal
from all of this pain and move on and create beauty out of pain.
How so many souls are tortured alive
by their own blood
by the people who claim to love them
and really are just waiting to stab them
when their flesh is still raw
when people would blame me for the rapes done to me
of how much real religion is a machine for torture and abuse
of how much hell truly goes on,
how its hard to look in the mirror
or to feel my body sometimes
because its known so much pain
to feel so much pain for just being a women
that your whole life you thought you wanted to be both a girl and a boy
and really now realizing now,
that I was just abused horriffcly
that feeling growing up that I was a women, felt so so unsafe,
so that's how many women feel in 2023
this world needs to change
and i won't shut up about it.
how the best friend that i thought i had growing up
who was also my first love
how horrible she and my other friends were too m e
throughout my whole life
I still don't understand how people can be so so horrid,
how when I was bullied throughout my life, they never cared
how when I confronted her about at age 21 she couldn't believe me,
how they gaslit me and my pain
how they defended my enemies
the ones who scorched me alive with their words
the one who sided with my own mother and parents,
when I told her how much they abused me
& how my dad ***** me so much,
that they made me at that time, want to slit my throat
and still she proceeded on.
Now i see you and your true colors
your all liars & horrible people
and I am so blessed that I cut you all out of my life.
The ones who took advantage of
my love my kindness my pure heart
the one who only wanted her whole life
to be loved in the way that I tried to love others.
All my ex friends ex family& ex flings
everyone used me and bullied me.
Does anyone fathom the pain?!!
I just don't relate to most people
who say oh I went through a few hard things,
my whole life for along while ,
it was hell on earth
i don't know how I'm alive
I don't
but I promise to myself
that number one I will create goodness in the world
and i will not shut up about my past
so that other people know that this level of abuse is truly out there,
so that they also know that is is possible to heal
from all of this pain and move on and create beauty out of pain.
How so many souls are tortured alive
by their own blood
by the people who claim to love them
and really are just waiting to stab them
when their flesh is still raw
when people would blame me for the rapes done to me
of how much real religion is a machine for torture and abuse
of how much hell truly goes on,
how its hard to look in the mirror
or to feel my body sometimes
because its known so much pain
to feel so much pain for just being a women
that your whole life you thought you wanted to be both a girl and a boy
and really now realizing now,
that I was just abused horriffcly
that feeling growing up that I was a women, felt so so unsafe,
so that's how many women feel in 2023
this world needs to change
and i won't shut up about it.
