Always trying to figure out, Where I went wrong. It's like I blinked, And suddenly, I was in a deep dark hole. Not knowing how I fell in, Or when. My whole life is a blur. I don't have any memories, Of who I used to be, Before I became, A sad; Lonely; Broke; Broken; Depressed; Anxious; Unloved; Adult. It's all I know. When did I make the decision, To become a failure? How did I become, A victim of life? How do I turn things around? Make life meaningful. Have meaningful relationships. Nothing feels real. I lost myself trying to heal. I wish for death like it's nothing. Every time I see a "rest in peace" post, Deep down I wish it was me. Thinking: "You're so lucky to be dead." I've stopped believing. I've accepted, Misery. And all its friends and foes. I can't count how many times a day, I say: "I wish I was dead" "I'm so lonely" When does it end? Does it ever end? I wish somebody loved me. Am I feeling sorry for myself? Yes! Do I know how to stop? No! Am I worthy of unconditional love? Absolutely! Will I reach it? I don't know!