Am I dead inside?
I ask this question a lot
I laugh
and smile
and get angry
but I don't really do any of those things
I can't cry
I can't care
I can't take care of myself
Only three things make me feel alive
Seeing my blood rushing to get away from me
Feeling the burn of whiskey in my throat
And coughing out clouds of smoke
So am I alive?
Or am I simply a corpse
stimulated by self destruction