I always thought I would turn it around,
come back for you when I'm a better man.
I always thought I had time, a time would come when you would be mine. I always thought I would make it,  it didn't matter that I faked it.
I was convinced fate was on my side, the universe would eventually align,
But fate has no favourites. My habits took me further from you, marooned with no hope of rescue.
Even in my loneliest days the thought of you puts a smile on my face. But now I know the longing of having you in my arms will never be satiated. I'll never get to call you mine. I'll have to watch while another makes you happy. I have to live with hoping you're happy. I want you to know that I have lived those moments with you the best and the worst. I was so happy when you graduated even though I could not afford a gift to give you. I see the happiness in your face when you post pictures with your partner. And even though the jealousy threatens to strangle me, I am strangely happy you found someone consistent enough to make you happy cause my hiccup of a life could never be enough for a soul such as you.  I can't be part of your life knowing I have nothing to offer you. But should fortune eventually smile on me, I will be like Gatsby. I'll throw elaborate parties with the hope you stumble in. I do not know what I would do or say but the thought that something I had done brought you to me would be enough.
In all those moments you probably thought I had forgotten about you but No amount of fire or freshness can challenge what a man will store up in his ghostly heart, and you are at the centre of mine. You'll always be the one.