your smell resides in my mind behind a door i didn't bother to lock up after all. its still in there though, collecting dust among other things. i was excited for you once. i was excited about you. i loved the tangles in your hair. i loved the way you looked up at me when i stood over you. i was scared to death and i felt like i was crazy. my mind was so fatigued and i shouldn't have said you were to young to really love or that i'd **** your dad. i loved you and i was sure of it. i felt so old and rusty. i wanted to be held like the child.