I am just five years old
Unable to escape knowing too much
I cannot tell why everything is so heavy
But still I choose to carry it
I am just twelve years old
Splitting open my skin
Under the guise of control
And dripping with self disgust
Screaming at the world
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME
PLEASE
CAN ANYONE SEE ME
PLEASE
I DON'T WANT TO DIE
I am just fifteen years old
Lying because I can
And getting away with it too
Touched by the wrong hands
Empty inside
And I'm not sure that I care
Even when I return to my bed and do not feel safe inside of it
At least somebody is touching me
I am just eighteen years old
My fathers words exploding out of my mouth
I hate the way I used to speak to my mother

At almost twenty years old
I have learned to swallow my self loathing

I cannot unbecome her
I cannot **** her
I can only embrace her

I'm sorry