i'm not sure where to put it;
my feelings.
never too sure where we stand
(when i think i'm on solid ground with you,
you pull the rug from underneath my feet)

but we push through

we're working on
working on it
and so far
that's working out

but sometimes
well
a lot of times
i find myself afraid

when you grow silent,
i get frantic.
can picture you leaving so easily
can hear the sound of your fading footsteps
(you've done it before, nothing's stopping you now)

and maybe
that's part of it
part of why
i'm focused on the future
of the picket fences and pools

focused on the forever

and when you say
that you will
love me forever
but
maybe not romantically
i fall apart

because
i don't know what to do with that
can't imagine being with anyone other than you
don't even want to entertain the thought

and listen,
i know i made a mistake
(a colossal one)
and it's not one that can be buried
(i'm not asking for that, it wouldn't be fair)

but
my feelings for you have never changed
(they only grow stronger, somehow)

so
i guess
this isn't a poem about late-night love
or a song to sing along to
it's just the truth

the foundation feels shaky
sometimes
but my feet at firmly planted
and will stay there
if you'll let them

so
please
just stay