I took a walk this evening
barefoot.
Just in socks actually.
my peachy pink ones that only
go up to my ankle.

I took a walk this evening
in just my socks,
just to feel something different.
i felt a little more human.
a little less A.I.
and a little cold on the soles of my feet.

i wonder if there'll be a day when
i can go places and not be
looking over my shoulder to see
if my mom is following me.
watching me.
smothering me.
protecting me.
controlling me.
i know she means well.
but she's doing it all wrong.
but apparently, i have to be a mother
in order to be able to spot bad parenting.

i look up at the vast blackness
and see a star
trillions of miles away.
i wonder if it's even a star at all.
it could be a planet.
mars or venus i suppose.

i wonder what it must be like
to be a bright burning mass
far...far away from here...
where people could only look at you
from a distance
and see the beauty that you are...
sparkling...twinkling...brilliant...light...
up close we aren't as beautiful.
maybe only to the ones who don't love us
for who we really are.

as i walk home, i walk along the lines
along the sidewalk cement.
i stretch my arms outwards
on both sides of my body
and make-believe i'm an acrobat
dozens of feet in the air...

i hate falling.
it either hurts or just makes me overthink what the pain will feel like once the fall is complete.
i look up.
i look up at that vast twinkling darkness . . .
i am no longer falling,
i am  f l y i n g . . .