Feeling miserably enthusiastic,
I waver in living
And turn in my grave,
Rising sleeplessly from rest
And energetically from never-ending nights.

God do I love these contradictions,
I am a walking opposite,
Live and breathe as confusion,
Not even I can understand myself.
The few times I do,
Shame digs me back into my empty grave,
Dark, dusty, and waiting.

Look for me and you will go blind,
Lose your eyes and give away your mind.
Don't search for me,
Following the call?
I've set the plate,
I plan to eat my meal clean.