I think you’ve left with a part of me.
Sometimes I think it’s a hole that will never be filled
No matter how tirelessly I try.
I wonder if the ache will ever stop.
Or maybe just pause.
In the dark, I beg it to.
There’s a loneliness in me that screams so loudly
Deafening to me, but silence to the rest.
They continue unaware.
I try to fix myself in the worst ways.
Maybe it works for a while
But then the edges come crashing down
And the mess comes.



Sometimes I think I’m addicted to the mess.