I cleaned out my wardrobe today, now I’m depressed, thinking of the sentimental value of clothes, and how I used to be so colourful and vibrant, I think I lost all of the parts of me that were bright, is this a reflection of growing up?

I cleaned out my wardrobe today,
and almost cried at what could have been,
and threw away the pin-striped suit that I wore at your funeral and the pastel pink t shirts from my first relationship that slowly became red in the wash, fading overtime, as we did too,
is living just fading away with time?

I cleaned out my wardrobe today,
and was reminded of things I would rather forget, like when you said that I look best in green and I told you that if I were to marry someone, I would want an emerald ring but now as winter comes, I only feel sadness at the trees whose leaves don’t fall, as like you, they cannot change, is change the lesson I seek in life?

I cleaned out my wardrobe today,
and fell into distant memories of the pair of us,
and how I have slowly lost you to addiction,
reunited with you three years on,
after doing something terrible in return,
as revenge for you loving substances more than you could ever love me, and we forgave each other but once again, we do not speak anymore,
and I often wonder if life will bring us back to one another again?

I cleaned out my wardrobe today,
and found gifts of friends and lovers long gone,
and it brought me to tears and gave me a headache, too many moments materialised in inanimate objects that I want to remember but long to forget, and they are holding me back, so this time I must let go,
but the question is, can I?