I don't have a clue what to write in this song
the chorus is fine but the words are all wrong
although it's been said that these lines should be read
thought it best if you sung them instead, dear Ed,
drag a comb through your darling bedhead

Well I came home to find you asleep on the couch
and tiptoed around you my big hungry slouch
if I knew you were home I'd a planned something nice
but this chicken's still frozen on ice, anyway
let us pray that you'll take my advice.

Don't say you do when you don't
Ed I'm talking to you honey
Don't say you will when you won't
you know it really isn't funny
Don't say you'll come when you know that you can't
and I won't say a word when you rant
no I shan't, not a whisper from me when you rant!

Last month I told you my car's rather beat
the muffler that's hanging? it dropped in the street
the cops heard me coming and followed me home
on the back of my ticket, your poem- it's a tome
on the lips of my lover is foam

Paint me a picture, I'll pay for your time
Inspire one stanza, I'll write the last line
if you'd bring me some hope for I'm failing to cope
we could spice up our rhythm with rhyme, one more time
give me something worth more than a dime

Don't say you do when you don't
Ed, I'm talking to you honey
Don't say you will when you won't
you know it really isn't funny
Don't say you'll come when you know that you can't
and I won't say a word when you rant
no I shan't, not a whisper from me when you rant