I've never known anything
as dark as that November
When blinding brightness
vanished
replaced by a creeping darkness
which infected
wherever I laid my
thoughts.

Except for maybe
that December
When as others were fighting for their
GPA
I was fighting to
Keep my head above
water

Christmas break came
and I went
home relieved to
have made it

As my friends went to
places of worship
parties
malls
I went to
doctor's offices
pharmacies
my bed.

The office with its leather
couch, friendly dog
and a sweater-loving doctor
who listened
and listened
and listened
but never spoke
as I talked
and cried
and yelled of
my fears
obsessions
doubts.

He never said much
But finally wrote for me
some numbers
and one complex name.

I was saved.

I've never known anything as
dark as that
November
and
December