**** you, I felt good for a while,
Then I fall right back as you open your mouth,
Stuck in a pile of anxiety stretching miles and miles,
I feel the fear wash over me-
Doubt settling as stability flees,
Can't we all just forget about it?
I forgive you,
But you'll never forgive yourself,
And as much as I want to get over it,
You keep chomping at the bit.

Swallow, spit,
Rinse, repeat,
That's how I handle unnecessary feelings,
It doesn't always work as it should,
I feel like a fool attached to these strings,
Steel wire that weaves flesh to bend and stretch without resistance.

The birds quit chirping,
They fall to the ground, and wither the flowers around them,
Fill the air with the rot of their corpse,
And with beady eyes stare at me through the window,
Choking me as I gorge on myself,
Deconstructing my worth, existence,
Invisible, that's the goal,
Whimpering quietly and fading,
Why should I exist,
If I can take the easy way out?