I had forgotten
what it was like to bolt up
at three AM with the want, no,
the undeniable need,
to write
the feeling
you had at that moment
because it was all clear for once
everything made perfect sense
and you needed to take note
or else you’d forget it
forever

I had thought
I couldn’t have feelings
like this anymore
that through
growth and aging
I had become outgrown
or immune
to such strong
forces
and
yet:
here I am,
writing down
this moment of intense clarity
so that I won’t forget
that I am still human
that I am still feeling
that I am still making it
even if I felt lost for
these past few
years.

forgive yourself,
I realized,
and I had to take
note.