I had forgotten what it was like to bolt up at three AM with the want, no, the undeniable need, to write the feeling you had at that moment because it was all clear for once everything made perfect sense and you needed to take note or else you’d forget it forever
I had thought I couldn’t have feelings like this anymore that through growth and aging I had become outgrown or immune to such strong forces and yet: here I am, writing down this moment of intense clarity so that I won’t forget that I am still human that I am still feeling that I am still making it even if I felt lost for these past few years.
forgive yourself, I realized, and I had to take note.