without him i feel so lonely
but maybe that makes me
my own victim
of the patriarchy
that i can't stand
and hold my own
without a man's validation

or maybe
that's just
a symptom of
my lack of self-esteem

maybe those are results
of my own
shortcomings

My initial thought
is
'how do i get him to come save me?'
even when i know
he's the one i'm mad at

i'm not strong enough
never have been
to stand on my own
to have my own back
i always need someone else's
reassurance
and i think they always
bet on that

when do i learn
to become my own person
and stand up even when
everyone else is
laying flat?