it is
5 am
and I
have
done
some-
thing
I have
never
done
before

I have stayed up to
5 am

at 5 am you know what you really want
you’ve had all this time to mull it over
the answers run clear as a mountain river
the meaning is like the nougat in the center
of a candy bar

each bite now
is tasty
and rich

each thought
each movement
means so much more
than it ever had
before

I’ve stayed up late
but never till 5 am
when everything is
crystal clear in a way
that has no analogy

I am tired of my covers,
of my pillows and my
bed-spreads

I want a bed of
nails, a cactus
cushion, and a
blanket of anger
to keep me up
through the nights

I am a man
seeking a better life than
this

at 5 am
I know what
this
is

I want to act
and be act upon

I want to love
and be loved back

I want to hate
and be hated

each tiny motion
means so much
more at 5 am

I know that nobody cares about my poetry
I know that nobody cares how much sleep I get tonight
I know that nobody cares about me
I know that nobody cares about
anything

it is
5 am
and I
can see
the world clearly
for the first
time

the world
is bleak
and I seek to run from
my warm bedroom
and plunge into the
jungle,

unarmed