I sit in silence.

where do i begin.

to explain the sadness hidden within.

I'm telling you my hearts filled with sorrow from the past I could not control, as a child not understanding the world.

so I've learned to cope and Ive hid the pain.

but never with my head bowed in shame.

you see i wear a smile that seems to embrace this world.

all the while your never knowing whats behind the eyes of a saddened soul.

am I being punished for sins that where not my own or is it time to man up and accept that now I am grown.

it's now up to me to deal with these demons and fight through the struggle and conquer these feelings.

Ive always risen above this pain.

but regrettably not in the most helpful way.

you see I turned to drugs to mask all the sorrow just to get me by to see tomorrow.

only to look around and find my self kneeling.

crying out to the world and asking it why.

why have you punished me?

is this all just a test?

im giving it my all and I'm trying my best.

this soul cant be broken youve already tried.

I'll never be ashamed of these choices Inside.

the funny thing is I would not have it any other way for all these moments have shaped me into the man that I am today.

so I sit in silence an internal war always waging.

the simple fact that all this rage inside is hidden behind a smile but it is taken in stride.

A testament to my will.

Just waiting for fate to change.

with new hope at the beginning of everyday.

to find the peace within myself.

but never forgetting the path from the dark was always worth winning..