I am not going to cry
Because I feel sad, helpless, alone and it is the first day of middle school
I squeeze my eyes shut to stop the tears from flowing
I ball my fists to stop my breathing from shaking
I will not cry right here
I am not gonna cry
Because I messed up, I made a mistake, and I'm so lost and don't know what to do next
I stop, breathe deep, and calm the histrionics
I close my eyes and withdraw from the world for a beat
I will not cry right here
I'm not gonna cry
Because I'm nervous, anxious, and away from home for the first time
I stand up straight and go through the motions
I breathe deep, shut eyes, take a beat
I won't cry right here
i won't cry
because i'm needed, because i'm strongest, because i'm reliable
stand, breathe, pause, go.
smile, breathe, comfort, breathe, go.
help, care, brave, go.
(there will be time to breathe later)
do, and go and do and go.
breathe. breathe. breathe?
i can't cry
i squeeze my eyes to give it a try
i curl into a ball and they remain dry