It wasn’t all the popcorn, hotdogs, candy eaten in the dark that killed her. Those things just caught up with her.
It wasn’t all the boxes piled high and then tumbling on her that cracked her head and made her a corpse. All that junk just caught up with her.
It wasn’t all those clothes hung up on clotheslines strung through her small apartment that garroted her red, white and blue. All that designer stuff just caught up with her.
It wasn’t all the pots, pans and dishes in the sink that needed to be scrubbed squeaky clean that drowned her in less than a foot of water. All those cookbook recipes just caught up with her.
It wasn’t all those mops, sponges, buckets and brooms, the bleaches, ammonia and other chemical cleaners that gouged her lady parts and asphyxiated her too. It’s just all that housekeeping caught up with her.
It wasn’t all those books in floor to ceiling IKEA cases that bibliated, Dewey Decimated her away. It’s just all that knowledge caught up with her.
It wasn’t all those fine soaps, shampoos and conditioners that shrunk, desiccated and dissolved her away. It was all that cleanliness that wasn’t next to godliness that caught up with her.
It wasn’t all those un-filed files that shocked her coworkers, just her decapitated head rolling on the company floor. All that work just caught up with her.
On her tombstone it was etched: LIFE FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH HER.