His name is Tyler.
Works eight hour shifts
and every two he takes a smoke break
its like my reward
four cigarettes every day isn't all that bad.
yeah
i'm buying my second pack today
i got this girl that is adamant about me stopping
a good start to a conversation to break up the gas station monotony
she really loves me man.
I take the pack.
Slam it against my empty palm.
Spin it between my thumb
and middle finger.
Slam it again.
its good though
Tyler's smile is like a hopeful wish.
Maybe he has a woman himself
its worth it if you like her enough
maybe he already lost her.
I spare him the usual dialogue
shes worth it
as I spin.
Slam.
Spin.
Slam.
have a good night man
A couple airy coughs open up my throat
take it easy
Spin.
Slam.
-
A gas station attendant at 10:26pm knows about you.
He knows that you love me enough to ask me to stop complacently killing myself.
And I know.
So that should be enough.
But these adderrall binges have me more on edge
than the eight hundred miles that separate us.